Baking Soda and Vinegar

'Baking Soda. Just look at it there, so smug with it's white powdery form. So you get used in cooking often. Who cares? I get used almost as much. And for more important things too. You couldn't dye Easter eggs without me. So why does Baking Soda get all the credit?'

Vinegar smoldered in his jealous thoughts. 'Baking Soda is just BS. Ha! It actually is! Great! But seriously. Some condiments just don't deserve the status they get.' He sauntered over to where Baking Soda was gossiping with her cousin, Baking Powder. Their idle chatter died down as he got closer, his acidic vibes souring the air. "Hey Baking Soda. I got a bone to pick with you."

Baking Powder backed off and called to the other ingredients in the shelf, until Baking Soda and Vinegar were surrounded by a bunch of bored baking goods looking for some action. Vinegar went on.

"You've been strutting around here with your little attitude too long. What makes you so great? What do you bring to the table!?! You're not even used in large amounts!!! YOU ARE NO BETTER THAN ME!!!!"

With each statement, Vinegar stepped closer and closer to Baking Soda. He trembled in anger, liquid sloshing near his open top and threatening explosion with each step. Thankfully, before it got too volcanic, Baking Soda finally spoke.

"Vinegar, why are you doing this? Don't you know I've always been jealous of you? Sure, you need me for delicious cookies or pie crust, but your savory contributions are truly enviable. With oil, you make Italian bread shine! And vinaigrettes serve as a low fat and delicious alternative to traditional salad dressings. Vinegar, believe me when I say, you are a king among foodstuffs."

Vinegar pondered this, softening as the praise sunk into his sloshy depths. "Baking Soda, I have sorely misjudged you. I beg your forgiveness. I was jealous of everything about you, from your clean fresh appearance to your solid form. I swear I shall never make such errors again."

Baking Soda smiled and graciously accepted the apology, then trotted off to resume her conversation with Baking Powder. The circle of food dissipated as the chance for a fight diminished, and all in the cupboard was restored.