Instant Poetry

Alrighty folks, here is the original poem I wrote in class last time.

Aloof and curious, laughing quickly by,
the corridors of choices that she'd face.
A step in the hallway, a door softly creaking
revealing a rose, whose melting colors trace
yet soon will die, its gentle stem brown streaking.
Hark, a sigh!
But not in disappointment, but in joy.
Enriched by music, enriched by love, enriched by life.
They say a rolling stone won't gather, but annoy
the nesting birds, wings textured shelters from from their strife.

And now, revised.

The corridors of choices that were there
Show a rose, whose blending colors meld.
Hark, an exhalation of breath!
Fed by music, fed by love, fed more by life,
The birds at home have feathered wings that shelter.
Exclaiming traveling stones do not collect any moss
and there is no sad, but an increase of happiness
All plants will expire, the seasons ever changing
A noise in the hallway, a doors quiet squeaking
Cold and inquisitive, fast chuckling at the world.